Becky
Daily: teacher, mom
A.R.M.Y. since: 2013
Bias: JK
Fav quote: “Hey, stob it!”
Fav song: Black Swan
Tell me about yourself
My name’s Becky, I’m from Esher in Surrey. I’m 48 and I’m a teacher.
What do you do in your free time?
I like crafting, I like listening to music, going to the cinema, and concerts. I like spending time with my kids. You know, normal, everyday things.
And how long are you a K-pop fan?
I would say since about 2013, 2014. I really, really got into it. It gradually grew on me. And then. I mean, I didn’t tell anyone at first because there was a bit of shame. Nobody talked about K-pop. Nobody knew what K-pop was at that point. I mean, they heard of Korean pop music and that it was something that they have in Korea. Whereas, you know, in the West, we have American and English pop music, you know? But yeah, it was almost like a taboo subject. And then I got to speak to someone about it and realised they liked K-pop as well, but they didn’t realise. I think that leads you further into K-pop than just listening to the music, because you want to find out everything about certain singers or what the music is, or where their inspiration comes from.
You said 2013, that’s when BTS came to be
Yeah, but it was a different time then. It was for little kids back then. It was for little 12-year-old girls who liked Sailor Moon, you know. Adults didn’t know how to convey liking it without being judged. And it’s not like that anymore. It’s a lot nicer. We don’t have English music in the house, none of my kids like English music. My son, I took him to see Adoo last year – that was an experience (laughs), but he absolutely loved it. My dad used to be a DJ, he’s creative, used to be tattoo artist. So I’ve always grown up in a creative house where I’ve listened to different types of music. We’ve been involved in different cultures from around the world because of the people my dad met. And I bring that to our house as well. So there should be no shame in liking what you like. It’s who you are.
And how did you learn about K-pop?
My daughter, she got me into it. We were just listening to music in the car and she said, let’s put this on, put this on. And at first it was just background. Then all of a sudden my ears just perked up, I was like, “This is awesome, I love this!” And I think because of me and my daughter enjoying K-pop together, we’ve become closer because of it. So it’s always nicer to have that. We can chat about it and talk about our biases from different groups and, you know, good things.
And what groups are you following?
Okay, so BTS was one of the first, as well as TWICE. And because of listening to their music a lot I started looking at other groups. Went down that horrible little rabbit hole with just a ton of really good groups. And then, yeah, it’s BTS and Ateez and TWICE, and so many… Rain, Monsta X they’re on my radar at the moment, let’s say, but there’s quite a few.
What is your ultimate favourite group now or do you not have one?
It switches between Ateez and BTS, a special song for each group – one day Ateez will be on and then BTS’s Black Swan comes up and just swipes Ateez out of the way, and it’d be like: This is so awesome, I love this. And then I fall down that rabbit hole and just listen to BTS all the time. And then it’ll come up on my recommended playlist, other songs and I think I like this song and then go down the rabbit hole for that group as well. So, you know, it’s a never-ending cycle, and there’s always different music for different vibes and feelings. So it’s good when you’ve got an emotion linked to that song. So it could be, I don’t know, you’re having a really bad day, and then you listen to – well, my go-to song that perks me up at the moment is Halazia by Ateez – and it’s just it’s so dramatic and it just, oooof!
Do you have any songs that are sad songs but make you happy or vice versa? Sad songs that make me happy… It’s Fake Love by BTS. I think because I’ve been learning Korean as well I understand the lyrics more and I understand the feeling behind it, and it’s it just makes your mind blown. It’s kind of hard to explain, but it’s nice to know that they’re feeling what they feel, and you can feel it too. It’s an emotional rollercoaster.
How are your Korean lessons going?
Now 100% of my lessons are all in Korean, so I can read Korean fluently. Don’t mean I know what every word means, but it’s like any language. You pick out certain words and you can work out what it means. [At today’s lesson] we were talking about what were we doing, the weather and directions and, you know, pretty basic touristy stuff, but it was more in depth.
What should people know about K-pop fandoms and how they are different from Western fandoms?
I have been a fan for years, and years ago there was a group called New Kids on the Block in the 90s, and I used to go to all their concerts, watch all their shows on TV, and collect their posters. But it wasn’t a fandom like K-pop is. K-pop fandom is – you actually meet people, you talk to people, you make friends. I’ve got so many friends now through K-pop. We go to cup sleeves [events] together (cup sleeve events are fan-organised gatherings for K-pop fans to celebrate birthdays, comebacks, or tours). We’ve got a big WhatsApp group where we share when which group is showing where, and we’ve decided to try and go out together. But there’s a special unity as well with K-pop because the majority of fans, I mean, there are a few that are a bit, you know, take it a bit too far, but the majority of the fans just want what’s best for the group. They want their happiness. They want them to do well, and they want to buy the merch because they’re happy and excited by it. It’s not just about trying to keep a certain member of a certain group happy; it’s about making yourself happy as well. And there’s more creative freedom than you would have in a Western group. We went to the Jin concert. There was a couple of people dressed as bananas. There was a person dressed in a spacesuit with the alien because he [Jin] wore that costume at a previous concert, and everyone is just sort of like queuing up for a selfie with these people and connecting through Instagram and, you know, swapping numbers. And it’s like a community, not a fandom.
Can you explain what is bias and bias wrecker?
Your bias is the person that you like the most in the group. So say it’s not judged on looks. [It can be] whatever people think, it’s judged on what they actually do for the group, the part they play. So, if it’s the singer and you love their voice and you love their dancing, you know, to you they’re the best performer of that group.
Then you get your wrecker. Now the wrecker is a dangerous one because they keep rearing up when you least expect it. And it makes you second-guess yourself. BTS for example, now my bias in BTS is very obvious – Jungkook, which most people would agree on. I’m okay with that. Then Jimin comes along and he does something like oooooh… actually, no, I quite like what YOU do mate. It’s awesome. Actually no, I think Jimin is my bias now and then Jungkook does something, but then all of a sudden… I don’t know, RM would just spit out a line and you think, Oh, you are brilliant!
It’s hard because people say, yeah, you’ve got your bias and your bias wrecker. But then I find that I’ve got a bias wrecker wrecker that comes and smashes the wrecker and the bias out the way.
And who is your bias and why?
Jungkook, he is an all-around perfect performer. He’s good at dancing, he’s good at singing. And I mean, he is just an absolute laugh. He has just got this funny, funny character, which every time I look at him, it just reminds me of like a naughty little kid at one of my classes in school. You want to tell them off, but you’re actually enjoying this, and you want to laugh and join in too (laughs). I think it’s because of his performances. He’s very professional, but he likes to enjoy it as well. He’s not like: Oh we got to do this dance this way. He will add his little bits in or throw water over Jin or, you know, just start a silly dance with V halfway through a song. And you know, it’s just that it’s just like you are pure entertainment. I think that’s because obviously he was a trainee at a very, very young age, and they’ve moulded him how they want him to be. So, I think that’s giving him a bit of an edge as opposed to Jin, who wanted to be an actor, and they just, you know, spotted him and said, do you want join the group? And then he had trouble dancing the first time. And I mean, obviously, he’s got better now as the years have gone on, but he’s… sometimes he still looks a little bit awkward. And I was like, oh, I want to put you in my pocket. It was so cute.
How many times have you seen BTS live?
Well, I haven’t seen BTS live unless you count the concerts that I’d done the marathon at the cinema. So I sat there for eight hours watching BTS concerts, which was awesome by the way. We took little blankets and my friend took a little BTS pillow with her, and we had these big recliner seats and we just laying there and it was brilliant. But apart from that, we saw Jin and that was amazing. It was like me and I went with two friends. We both looked at each other as he walked on the stage and just burst into tears. And then my best friend said “I feel sick, I’m so happy.”. And it was just one of those moments where I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, because there was Jin parading on the stage in front of us, and my friend who’s there crying, saying she feels sick, you know. It was it was really amazing. It was a really good concert. My friends said “This is the warm-up for BTS!”. And I’m thinking, well, if this is the warm up and you’re like this with Jin, what are you going to be like with all seven on the stage? (laughs)
What did you feel when you heard that the tour was announced officially?
They were on hiatus, but I think A.R.M.Y. knew that it was going to happen. Everyone had been discharged from the National Service (mandatory military service for South Korean men). There’ve been little clues all over the internet saying they were going to go to LA and record. So well, if there’s going to be an album, there’s going to be a tour, and then everyone’s putting all their eggs in the basket. And of course, it was like a dream come true when they announced it. So yeah, really excited about it.
A lot of people think that K-pop fans are immature teenage girls. What would you say to them?
Absolutely not. I have a professional job. I look after little kids who sometimes really don’t have a clue what K-pop is – they’re too busy looking at their Xboxes and not getting outside enough. Whereas the best thing about being an adult K-pop fan is having adult money to buy K-pop merch, so we don’t care. I need that photo card, and we won’t think twice about paying for it. We’ll just put it on the credit card and get paid next month or whenever. Whereas if you’re a kid, you’re saving your pocket money for like, forever to get a certain something. But I mean there are kids that really enjoy it. I’ve got my son, who’s well, he’s nearly 16. He’s got friends that are Stray Kids fans. And but you’ll say to him: have you heard this song by this band? No. I listen to Stray Kids, and it’s like, okay, maybe you need to expand it, because I think with children, they seem to be on one track. I remember when I was a kid, a teenager, and I was a blockhead. I would only listen to New Kids on the Block. Take That came out, but I wasn’t interested. But that’s how you see it when you’re in your teenage years. You are one track, and I’m hoping that in the future, as these younger K-pop fans get older, they branch out a bit. They will go to a concert that they wouldn’t have thought they’d usually go to, and think actually, this is really good. We’re going to support them as well as my original group.
Do you think that K-pop fans are toxic?
It’s a bit of a loaded question. You’ve got obviously separate fandoms for separate groups, but there are loads of people like me who are multi-stans. So I support lots of K-pop groups. But some people who are not multi-stans, they’re very vocal in saying, well, you don’t like them as much as I do because you like this group, this group, this group…
That’s fair, you’re allowed your opinion, but it’s not like that. I have all my fingers in the pies. But a lot, well, a majority of the fans, they are like I say, a community. They want to see people do well, and they want to see other K-pop groups do well. For example, Jungkook has started following Ateez, and now people are beginning to know who Ateez are.
So there’s that, but then you’ve got the people who may be unwell mentally and will go over the top. It’s like that woman who broke into Jungkook’s house, and you think, well, that was just too much. I mean, yeah, walk past this house, maybe take a photo, you know, then move on. But she actually broke into his house, and it wasn’t just upsetting for him. It was upsetting for her family and the fans as well, knowing that this idol could possibly have been in danger.
But then you’ve got to think of this person. If she’s unwell, she needs help. But it’s not whether it’s toxic, it’s more whether they’re mentally stable in a way. People get upset because Shownu from Monsta X, now got a girlfriend. And there were messages like, ‘oh, well, he’s not allowed to, he belongs to us.’ And I’m thinking: what? He’s in his 30s, he has his own life. And it’s just ridiculous people. Some fans seem to think that these idols belong to them. And it’s just like, no, they’re still people at the end of the day. They’ve got their own lives, likes, love, families. So, you know, it’s very loaded. It’s very hard to say to someone you’re toxic. But it’s like I say, it could be a mental health issue sometimes.
Do you know what A.R.M.Y abbreviation stands for?
I think adorable… I’m just trying to work it out. Adorable Representatives, MCs of Youth.
And how would you describe A.R.M.Y. as a community?
You got your fair share of “normals” whatever normals are. You got your fair share of casual fans. You’ve got your fair share of super fans, and then you’ve got your fair share of nutjobs. But all in all, everyone is so friendly. Everyone’s kind. They look out for each other. You see people going to concerts by themselves and come out with a new friend, you know. So it makes you feel good because nobody should feel alone. So it’s, you know, you get the saying it takes a village to raise a child. It’s like that in the A.R.M.Y.. You’ve got someone there who is a bit wounded and alone, and you’ve got the village coming along to perk them up, you know, give them help.
A lot of people say that the BTS helped them go through a tough time. Did you have a similar experience?
I’m not afraid to say that I’ve had mental health issues – I suffer from bipolar. But they have always been a constant in my life, which has helped me know that I’ve got that constant music, that familiar feeling of support. I mean, they’re not there standing by my bed singing to me, but they might as well be. I hear certain songs or I’ll be watching YouTube, I’ll be watching Run BTS or something, and it would just make me laugh. When you’re feeling a bit crappy, you need that. And yeah, so they have helped me.
Have you been a part of any A.R.M.Y project, learning, charity or anything else?
In the Jin’s concert they did a little project. It was called Prince’s Jin Pink Project. So when he was singing a song, we had little pink dots that we put on our flashlights, and we just lit up the whole of the O2 with it. And they do fundraising where everyone gets a banner, and there’s a like a link or a QR code everyone scans and donates money, and then the money gets sent to the Little Princess Trust in Princes Jin’s name as a birthday gift. So that was pretty amazing. There’s lots going on for the Tottenham Hotspur shows as well. It’s all over Instagram and it’s so cool – and I think everyone wants to join in and everyone wants to help and make this successful and hope that BTS are really happy that lots of effort has been put in to show our love for them.
BTS members are known for donating a lot of money to charity causes, looks like that inspires fans to do the same.
Yeah, it’s one of those where everyone wants to help everyone. And if you’re in a position to be able to help, great. Not everyone is, but nobody makes someone else feel bad about it because it’s all done anonymously. You’re given a banner with a QR code. Nobody knows who’s donated what or if at all. So it’s just a nice feeling to be able to say, yeah, well, we helped do this, but you don’t have to go around bragging about it. It’s almost like a secret charity.
Do you have any type of related tattoos?
Not yet. There is one on the way, and I will show it to you, graffiti done by Leo Dave. He’s a big graffiti artist over in Korea, and he has done some amazing K-pop related graffiti all around Korea. I actually asked him if I could have that as a tattoo, and he gave me his blessing.
Favourite merch and most meaningful merch?
Let’s think I have so much… But I think my absolute favourite is my six-foot Mingi. He’s real life-sized. And he’d probably be creeped out if he saw that I had this and he watches me when I sleep, but I’m okay with that. But my most favourite bit of merch that I got, it’s fan made. I got it at the Jin concert. Someone made this for me. It’s this cute little RJ keyring. It’s very special to me because she only made one and gave it to me, and she put August 2025 on the back and everything. So it was really sweet. And it’s special because somebody has actually spent a lot of time and effort making something like that. And then obviously we’ve got the good old light sticking cradle. And then up here is my other light stick, which is my favourite, my Ateez one. I have two of those and then I’ve got the version three Army Bomb and an XG light stick. So I absolutely love merch. I love light sticks. Even if I use them once, I don’t care.
Favourite quote from an interview, meme or song?
Well, there’s a standard “lachimolala”, and that always tickles me. But it has to be Jin and “Stob it!”. It’s just the way that he’s just acting out in the corner. It just tickles me even now.
Why did you agree to be part of this project?
Because is exciting. I want people to see that it’s not just 12-year-old girls wearing little costumes, marching around London, hoping for, looking for a random idol. Everyone is normal. They have their own lives. They have their own families. You know, our lives don’t revolve around K-pop all the time. There’s more to life. It’s just about the music we like. We like the community. We like learning about a different country. It’s not just about the music. I think K-pop has put Korea out there as a more popular tourist destination. It’s made the country more financially stable because they had the crash in 1997, where lots of people lost lots of money. And it’s just building everyone and everything up. You got people from around the world that love the music and they all want to be part of it in any way or form.
It’s not about little kids with their pocket money buying their Arirang album when it comes out and only getting one copy. There are people like me who may have bought three copies because they want different photo cards. And, you know, it’s a grown-up problem. (laughs)
If you could send one message to BTS, knowing that they will receive it. What would you tell them?
I would like to say that I wish nothing but the best for you. I hope all your dreams and whatever you want to do in life goes well. And as an A.R.M.Y., I support you.
Thank you!