Sonya
Tell me about yourself
My name is Sonya, I’m 67, retired, and I’m an ex-NHS home nurse carer – palliative care.
And where are you from?
Nuneaton. I was born in Nuneaton, then I lived in a little village called Atherstone. And then at 17, I left home and never went back. And then I married, divorced, married again, and been married 30 years.
What do you do in your free time?
I love gardening, I love cooking, I love baking, but BTS… I won’t say I was obsessive. But it’s quite borderline, possibly (laughs). I’m not going to lie about it. Put it this way: my husband likes BTS. He knows all the songs; he knows all the words to the songs because the music’s on all the time. And he never says, turn it off. Just never does.
He knows that it makes you happy.
We have a son who lives in Taiwan, and we have a grandson born in 2025. So the baby was born the 31st of March. We went over there 1st of May when he was a month old, and we managed to fit in a J-Hope concert in Taiwan, and I took him [husband] with me.
How long have you been a K-pop fan?
2018.
And what was your first song?
Fire. Not FYA, but Fire.
And how did you learn about K-pop?
My niece. My niece has got challenging behaviour, and she kept saying, ‘Auntie Sonya, you need to watch this, you need to watch this! These people talk to you as well, they talk to you!’ And I was going, ‘Louise, darling, they don’t talk to you. These are people trying to scam you. You don’t talk to people online.‘ ‘No, no, no, they really do talk to you!’
And what it was, it was when BTS were going live, and they were coming up and doing their lives. She was watching them. And so I just said, “Prove me wrong then”. And she proved me wrong.
They did talk to you?
Yeah, they did talk to everybody. Not me specifically, but yeah, everybody [generally].
So which Korean groups are you following?
BTS and The Rose, I like Woodz, I like Stray Kids. I like CORTIS, and we’re going to see ENHYPEN in March next year. We’re hoping Stray Kids do a concert so we can get tickets to that. But on the other side of it, I like other music as well. So not all K-pop, but it is turning more K-pop than it used to be.
And what other music did you used to listen to?
I used to love Take That. I was a big Ry Cooder fan in the early days. BB King, all of them. Yeah, I loved all of them. I loved all genres of music. And my mum and dad always had music on. So I grew up with music because my mum and dad were only 20 and 21 when they had me, so they were very young and had music on. We had a record player that you used to be able to put six records on, and the arm would hold them, and it would play a record, and the arm would come off, and one would drop, and another one would play, and it was music all the time.
Would you say you were always a concert girly?
Not until maybe my mid-20s when I could afford it, because I was the eldest of six daughters, so my mum and dad couldn’t afford to let me go to concerts and things like that. So when I left home, and I was living away, and people were doing concerts, then I started doing concerts: Take That, Duran Duran. Oh, God. Kid Creole and the Coconuts, Luther Vandross, Whitney Houston, hundreds, hundreds. I can’t even think. Hundreds of bands.
And also because my mum and dad like music, I grew up on, like, 1960s music. And I was very fortunate when I had my second marriage; my husband liked older music as well. So if there would be something at the local theatre, like a 60s night, and it would have been, let me think, P.J. Proby and Freddie and the Dreamers, we used to go because we remembered that music from our parents and growing up. So we used to do all that. Yeah. The Drifters. [thinks] Yeah, we did all of it. Yeah, all of it. Michael Jackson… saw Michael Jackson at the Bowl in Milton Keynes, saw Spandau Ballet, and I’ve seen the Ramones. I’ve seen loads of bands, loads of bands.
But we, we were not wrapped up in cotton wool like I feel today. Oh, you can’t do that because this might happen. We were just told: Get out there and do it. And if it don’t work, come back and tell us. It’s… it’s a totally different approach to life.
Everybody who knows me – I’m going to make myself sound really bad now – everybody who knows me says I’m quite direct. And I don’t tolerate fools. But I’m kind. Does that make sense? I think I’m kind, aren’t I kind? I try to be kind. I’m very direct. I don’t take rubbish. I can spot somebody talking rubbish for miles away
What do you think people should know about K-pop fandoms that are different from Western fandoms?
I believe K-pop fandoms look out for each other. I believe they’re kind to each other. I believe if you go to a concert, a K-pop concert, and you go on your own, you’re never on your own.
I believe K-pop fandoms are kind to each other. They care about each other. And even though sometimes… K-pop for me is a choice to be different; K-pop for me is a choice to show my individuality. And I’ve been friends with people for 20-30 years, and they are so shocked by me being K-pop (fan) that we don’t speak anymore because I get comments like, oh, you’re in a cult, you’ve joined that cult, haven’t you? And I just go, yes, I have, because I can’t be bothered to explain. So I believe if you… sometimes in K-pop, and I don’t know how anybody else feels… I think sometimes in K-pop you either make a lot of friends or you’re quite introverted, and you don’t make a lot of friends, and you go on your own. But once you take that lead to go on your own.
"I believe K-pop fandoms look out for each other. […] I believe if you go to a concert, a K-pop concert, and you go on your own, you’re never on your own."
I don’t believe you’re ever on your own when you get to a K-pop concert, because I believe that people around you pull you in; they jump with you, they laugh with you, and you make good friends because that person has probably had the same situation happen to them. So I don’t believe you’re ever on your own at a K-pop concert. And that’s my thought on K-pop. And they make me happy.
So how long have you been a BTS fan?
Since 2018.
Can you explain what the bias and bias wrecker mean?
Bias is the one that, in my opinion, you’re drawn to the most. And my bias wrecker is the one that challenges my bias.
And who is your bias?
Jin.
And your bias wrecker?
J-hope, but he’s really challenging at the moment. When he came on stage last week in the black leather and the black shirt and the black trousers, I heard myself say, Mother of God. And I never, ever, ever. I don’t care what anybody says. He was so manly, and I looked at him and thought I had thoughts that I shouldn’t even think about a man of his age.
They’re younger than my children. And I just thought, no, I shouldn’t even be thinking that. And I’m in the other room on a chair and I’m watching it, and I go: Mother of God. And my Tom (husband) says, what’s happening? And I go, oh, you really don’t want to know (laughs)
How did you feel when you heard the tour announcement, that they are coming back and we would be having a concert?
I think we all screamed (laughs). There’s a group of us [on Facebook] – BTS Housewives. And I think there’s maybe 14 of us,13, 14 I can’t remember now. So when it was announced, we were all on the chat typing and voicemails and, you know, phoning each other and video calls and just, yeah, strategically planning how we were going to get tickets.
We had got Jin tickets the year before, and I’m rubbish on the computer. But I’ve got a fantastic support team round me to go, We’ll get one for Sonya.
We had four of us in different rooms all trying to get tickets, and we got them for both days, only because [my friend] Loredana had been so smart and quick.
I mean, somebody said you had to open two windows. I couldn’t see two windows in the house to open. I didn’t realise they meant two windows on the computer. I didn’t even know what a window was. Just rubbish. She laughs at me. But it’s very true. I just don’t ever want to be held responsible for being the one that failed to get tickets for other people.
A lot of people think that K-pop fans are immature teenage girls. What would you say to that?
There is that in there. There is definitely in there. But I also think there’s an awful lot of every age genre. EVERY AGE. We’ve got people who are 80. We’ve got people who were too young to be fans, but they’ve heard their cousins, sisters, brothers and what have you [play it].
"I just think..I believe K-pop finds you when you need it."
Yeah, I found them because I moved house. And because we moved, we sold the bigger house, bought a smaller house, paid the mortgage off, and it just worked out for me. And that was just how it was. And then I did six months of doing nothing, getting the house ready, building a house, decorating and spending far too much money, and bits and pieces. And now I don’t do any decorating; I don’t do any cleaning. I do very little cooking. But I still spend an awful lot of money on BTS (laughs).
Is your husband also retired?
He’s 66, and he is retired. He was supposed to retire in May, but he doesn’t want to retire. He thinks retiring is an old man’s game.
Do you think that K-pop fans are toxic?
No. Well… No K-pop fans that I know are toxic. No K-pop fans that I’ve ever come into contact with are toxic. But I have heard a few stories. Never met anybody, but I have heard a few stories where other people have had issues with people. It’s BTS or not at all. You’re not allowed to like anybody else, you know. But no. Not me. No. And I’ve never come across anybody that I’ve ever felt [is toxic].
Do you know what A.R.M.Y. abbreviation stands for?
Yeah, but I can’t tell you. (laughs)
So do you know it or you don’t?
I do. If you say it, I’ll go: Yeah, it is. It’s… No, I can’t tell you, but I do know. I hear it all the time… Adorable, adorable representatives, members of youth or something… it’s not something you get asked. You just automatically say ‘I’m ARMY.’
How would you describe ARMY as a community?
For me, good. They are my new life after retiring. I always remember thinking, oh, God, when I retire, I’m going to do this, and I’m going to do that. No, never done any of it. I’m definitely not the old lady type.
The ARMY that I know and the ARMY that I care about look after each other. We don’t always get on. Sometimes we bump heads over things, and sometimes we have different opinions about things. But it doesn’t mean my opinion is right and it doesn’t mean their opinions are right, because we’re all allowed to think differently. And my opinion is my opinion, and I would never change anybody else from what their opinion is. But they must also respect that I think differently. So yeah, for me, ARMY’s been very supportive, very supportive. While my husband’s been poorly, my ARMY’s been very supportive.
A lot of people say that BTS helped them when they were going through a tough time. Did you have a similar experience?
I know lots of people who had similar experiences. [I was] lonely through Covid, very lonely through Covid, never met anybody, never saw anybody. And because my husband was a lorry driver, he could still go to work. But I was in the house, so I would have the music on, I would have the videos on.
I would sit peeing myself laughing [watching] ‘In the soop’. But yeah. And you know, it’s really funny. For a long time I never told anybody that I like BTS because I always thought people would judge me for liking something like that. I’ve never liked general things. I’ve never walked that straight line. No, I’m just not that way. Does it bother me? No.
Do you think that ARMY fandom is special?
ARMY fandom for me is as special as you want it to be to you personally. Does that make sense? I think everybody is different. I’ve known a few people who have been ARMY, and they’ve stopped being ARMY because they’ve kind of just grown in a different direction, and it’s caused riffs in friends because they’ve been ARMY together and one’s drawn away and that one stayed, and now they’re not friends because they don’t seem to be able to gel.
Have you been a part of any ARMY projects?
I couldn’t do Korean because I haven’t got the brain power anymore. I can’t remember things. So if I learned something on Monday, I forgot it on Tuesday. No, I don’t think I have actually. We’ve done a few, like the Jin pink lights, and we’ve done the plaque, and I’ve done donations to help get different banners.
But no, I don’t think so. I don’t think I have actually.
It sounds like you did actually
Well, only by donating, but nothing else. Nothing special.
Do your friends and family who are not K-pop fans, know you’re listening to K-pop, and what are their thoughts about it?
They all know, there were a few odd remarks. There were a few quirky remarks. There were a few nasty remarks. But I’ve been doing it that long now, and they all just say, ‘Oh, you’re going to see your boys.’ It’s just accepted now. And my best friend that I’ve known for 30-odd years [says], ‘Oh, you’re going to the cult. You’ve joined the cult. You’re doing this, that the other.’ Now, when I spoke to her on Friday, ‘What have you got planned this weekend? – I’m going to BTS concert. – Oh, your boys,’ she said, ‘you’re going to see them.’ So she’s gone from me joining a cult to me: Oh, you’re going to see them. Oh, have a great time. Send me lots of photos.
And I have a friend, we’ve been friends since we were four, who responded to a Facebook message I wrote. I said, “Two sleeps. Swim.” She replied, “Oh where are you going on holiday swimming?”
It was really funny. I had to explain it was a song. She listened to it and said, “I’ve just listened to Swim, I really like that!” Not judgement at all. But she had a daughter die last year and she always says to me, live your life to the best you can. So she sees things totally. She knows she doesn’t judge. She has totally changed as a person, and she’s more accepting of people being different.
So she never ever. No she doesn’t. She just says, you live your best life, girlie. That’s it, I like her.
Do you have any K-pop related tattoos?
None.
Any plans?
No.
Do you have any favourite merch, official or fan-made, or any merch that is the most meaningful to you?
Yeah, I’ve got a six-foot cut out of Jin that sits in the bedroom. I’ve got a whole bedroom dedicated to them – spare bedroom. I had a bookcase, and my husband painted it white and then lilac, and then carried it upstairs, and he put all fairy lights on and pins in. And I’ve got everything that I’ve got there – all Jin [merch] and the boys.
I wish I didn’t buy stuff; I’d be a lot richer if I didn’t buy stuff. That’s what my kids say to me: Are you spending the inheritance, mum? Yeah. They laugh. Yeah, but I’ve got photographs of them [BTS] and the beds are covered in things, and I’ve got Lego, and I’ve got boxes with all my Funko Pops, and oh, yeah, I’ve got everything.
Do you have any favourite quotes, whether it’s from an interview, from a meme, or a song?
I always tell people, “Stob it, Jin,” when people are playing me up or people are saying silly things, they always go, “stob it.” Yeah, only because it’s Jin. We love “party, party, yeah” Because that’s JK, that’s my friend’s Lorie’s favourite.
I love the banter. I love the funny little things, all those bits and pieces, nothing big or extravagant. I tell you what, I DO like Jimin’s, “Yes, I do, Yes I do.”
I know RM makes some wonderful quotes about if you don’t love yourself, how can you love other people? If you don’t love it… And yeah, I love myself. I don’t give a shit what anybody says. I think I’m great. (laughs) Because I’m honest. And I’ve got nothing to hide. What you see is what you get. I don’t have to make excuses and hide things from people because I’m too old to care. That is the truth. Does that make sense? Oh yeah. And it will happen to all of you. I never thought it would happen to me, but my God, it happened to me. Yeah, and I don’t give a monkey’s.
Why did you agree to be part of this project?
Because I watched your videos and I thought they sounded interesting. And I looked at the different people, and I just thought: I could do that. I could put my side across because I just believe everybody has a different story. Everybody has a reason for being ARMY.
"Everybody has a reason for liking something different. And nobody but nobody should tell us what we like and what we don't like."
So if you get the word out there that 67, nearly 68-year-old ladies like things, they’re the same as 16-year-olds. I can’t speak Korean, but I know the words of the songs that I have learned over the years. I love it, and I’m not going to stop.
This. Then this might be my last chance ever. We don’t know what life has for us. We don’t know what’s in store. So tomorrow and Tuesday could be the happiest days of my life [concert days]. And nobody but nobody here knows that. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday I could get knocked over by a bus. But my God, will I die happy that I know I’ve seen those boys. MEN, they are now men now.
How would you compare craziness about BTS to the craziness about, let’s say, The Beatles or Michael Jackson?
The Beatles? I was a bit too young. And I’m going to really put this out here now. I liked The Beatles’ early stuff, but I never liked their later stuff. My husband’s a big Beatles fan, and I tend to turn everything down when it’s on. (laughs)
When I was at school, I was in love with Donny Osmond, me and my friend Hanifa. We used to go and sit in the playground and talk about our fantasy life with Donny Osmond. So I’ve always been a bit weird, and how we were going to become Mormons and marry into the Mormon church and marry one of the Osmonds brothers.
And we were going to stop at home and cook dinner and have children. And then we grew up, and then life was boring. And then we had children, and then we got married, and we got divorced and got remarried. And life. You turn around in your, you know, nearly on your way to 70. And I’m not going without a fight now. So Michael Jackson, I loved his dancing. Michael Jackson was an amazing artist, amazing artist. But I never had that urge to be involved. And it wasn’t available. But this is totally something different. This is such a, on such a level that when those guys go live [on social media], and they talk, and you turn off everybody else’s comments, they just could be talking to you. You’re just having a conversation. And that in itself is just lovely because they just talk a load of crap as well sometimes. They do.
And I love Jungkook putting himself in the wardrobe. And I love Jungkook dancing and flashing his chest. And I love RM doing all the silly things he does. And I love Suga being a professor with his arms folded. The university, you know, he’s turned into an old man sort of thing because he’s had his issues and he’s up to come back from dragging his knuckles and bring himself back up. But when I see him on stage and he’s smiling, and he’s laughing, and he’s enjoying it, yeah, I feel he won his battles as well.
And J-Hope, how could anybody ever say J-Hope was ugly, and he looked like a horse? He’s bloody gorgeous. And and Jimin in that hair, my god. And then V… what? Where has he come from?! He was like this little skinny sort of. Yeah. Playing silly games and dropping his eyes and all dewy. And all of a sudden he’s out there giving it large, and I think, oh, he’s come onto his own. And then Jin, he’s still wearing fricking pigtails, but I still love him. And there’s nothing better for me than having all these different things about all these different seven men, and they make me happy, and that’s all that’s important. And you have to be happy because you’re a bloody long time dead.
If you could send one message to BTS members knowing they will receive it. What would you tell them?
Thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for making me love music again, even though I don’t understand half of it. And even though I could never do a dance without putting myself in traction. Thank you. Just thank you. Just thank you for everything. For making me laugh. For making me cry. Just thank you. Because that’s. That’s all there is. Thank you from me anyway. Thank you. Really boring message.
Is there anything you would like to share or add that I didn’t ask you?
When I go in my little secret room, and I see all this [merch], it frightens me how much money I’ve spent. (laughs) But I don’t care. It’s my life. It’s my life. And for years I did for my children. And years I did for my husband and my parents and my sisters. And it’s my time. This is my life now. And I don’t make any apologies. But apart from that, absolutely nothing. That’s probably far too much. (laughs)
Thank you!